In an effort to understand myself, I find asking this question is crucial to starting my journey. Shakespeare said,"Of thine own self be true, thou canst not then be false to any man". If I lie to myself, if I deceive my own thoughts and visions, how can I possibly find the basis of all truth. So I ask searching questions which may be uncomfortable to see written down, but need answering none the less.
We lie to ourselves for various reasons; we're afraid of the truth, we want to be something more than we feel we are, we're disappointed with our efforts so far, we're not happy, we don't want to face the consequences of our actions. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hatred, hatred leads to suffering; good old Yoda. It's true all the same. I'm afraid, and that makes me angry; angry with the situation and myself. My anger makes me hate the things I seem unable to change, and I suffer for it.
I think I've taken the first step in a long journey.
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